Why Do We Nurture Certain Behavior?

By Emmanuel van der Meulen


We relate our expectations to a particular result that we may have had in mind. If things do not go our way, we might feel disappointed or unhappy.

Because of the pressure we encounter when still very young, we take on as fact that something is wrong with us, even though nothing is wrong with us. Let's call this phenomenon, Factor-x. Are all expectations related to a negative self-belief? Perhaps. But what about when a murder takes place or where someone is abused? We say those behaviors are in our nature. But are they? Or is that behavior nurtured?

When a desired result is not fruitful, some of us lose control and perform inhumane deeds.

We acquired such behavior. We can call ourselves good natured when we would not wish a bad thing on ourselves or others. With Factor-x, we almost don't stand a chance. All Factor-x wants to do, is prove to itself that there is nothing wrong with us. Although we are capable of this behavior, it doesn't mean this is in our nature.

Factor-x has only one agenda, and that's to disprove that something is wrong with us. In fact, it seems to do so at all costs, as seen from all the deeds we perform to disprove that something is wrong with us - each and every one of them destructive, even to ourselves. Murder and abuse, of course, are extreme examples of things we deduce to be nature, but are highly likely nurtured behavior: examples of things we learn and acquire to pacify our Factor-x.

In essence, we are all good-natured souls. Even though this is true, we acquire destructive behavior in a myriad of forms. All of these forms, with our Factor-x contributing, are carefully and deviously nurtured and crafted - so artfully that we are almost certainly of the opinion that it is in our nature to be destructive. But is it in our nature to be destructive, and thus inhumane?




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