Monday, September 24, 2012
Interview by Lon Woodbury
Mary Romero, Life Coach, Writer, and youth advocate from Virginia, spoke to Lon Woodbury on L.A. Talk Radio about the many ways to raise healthy and balanced, well-functioning kids by educating concerned parents about how to establish physical and mental boundaries.
Background: Mary Romero
Mary, a survivor of an abusive childhood, molestation, and domestic violence has well over 20 years professional counseling experience with misbehaving kids. She is an expert in Dialectical Behavior Therapy and shows her clients how to improve their lives and relationships through cultivating healthy and balanced thought processes. Mary is a professional counselor and an expert in conflict resolution. She works with families to strengthen parent-child relationships. Her latest book is called "The Breakdown of the All American Family."
What are Boundaries?
Although the idea of establishing boundaries is often discussed when teaching parenting skills, many individuals only have a hazy understanding of exactly what the term actually means. Mary defined it as teaching kids recognition for themselves and others, as well as teaching them about having compassion and empathy for other individuals. She suggested that boundaries should be should be taught within the first few months after birth.
Boundaries are important because without them children are under the mistaken impression they can get whatever they want whenever they want it. Juvenile delinquents, Mary pointed out, had never learned about boundaries- consequently they had no hesitation about stealing nor did they think twice about indulging in substance abuse.
Boundaries, in fact, helped children feel loved and appreciated. It showed them that their parents were worried about their misbehavior and were willing to apply consequences to reinforce good behavior. The most significant challenges both mothers and fathers face when it comes to specifying boundaries is not following through on applying consequences. This sends kids the wrong message entirely: they mistake leniency for consent to cross boundaries.
Tips on Setting Boundaries
In her parental guidance work, Mary sees parents make two fundamental errors when it comes to limits: treating children as if they are friends and parental disagreement about values.
While it was great for a parent to be friendly, it was an error for them to associate with their kids as friends. Kids that regarded their parents as pals did not listen to them when these parents specified limits.
In those circumstances where separated parents lived in different houses, if boundaries were to be effective both the mother and father had to stick to the very same values and rules.
Interview by Lon Woodbury
Mary Romero, Life Coach, Writer, and youth advocate from Virginia, spoke to Lon Woodbury on L.A. Talk Radio about the many ways to raise healthy and balanced, well-functioning kids by educating concerned parents about how to establish physical and mental boundaries.
Background: Mary Romero
Mary, a survivor of an abusive childhood, molestation, and domestic violence has well over 20 years professional counseling experience with misbehaving kids. She is an expert in Dialectical Behavior Therapy and shows her clients how to improve their lives and relationships through cultivating healthy and balanced thought processes. Mary is a professional counselor and an expert in conflict resolution. She works with families to strengthen parent-child relationships. Her latest book is called "The Breakdown of the All American Family."
What are Boundaries?
Although the idea of establishing boundaries is often discussed when teaching parenting skills, many individuals only have a hazy understanding of exactly what the term actually means. Mary defined it as teaching kids recognition for themselves and others, as well as teaching them about having compassion and empathy for other individuals. She suggested that boundaries should be should be taught within the first few months after birth.
Boundaries are important because without them children are under the mistaken impression they can get whatever they want whenever they want it. Juvenile delinquents, Mary pointed out, had never learned about boundaries- consequently they had no hesitation about stealing nor did they think twice about indulging in substance abuse.
Boundaries, in fact, helped children feel loved and appreciated. It showed them that their parents were worried about their misbehavior and were willing to apply consequences to reinforce good behavior. The most significant challenges both mothers and fathers face when it comes to specifying boundaries is not following through on applying consequences. This sends kids the wrong message entirely: they mistake leniency for consent to cross boundaries.
Tips on Setting Boundaries
In her parental guidance work, Mary sees parents make two fundamental errors when it comes to limits: treating children as if they are friends and parental disagreement about values.
While it was great for a parent to be friendly, it was an error for them to associate with their kids as friends. Kids that regarded their parents as pals did not listen to them when these parents specified limits.
In those circumstances where separated parents lived in different houses, if boundaries were to be effective both the mother and father had to stick to the very same values and rules.
About the Author:
Lon Woodbury created Struggling Teens to help families. He has the recorded this interview on his L.A. Talk Radio show for easy access at any time.
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